fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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