I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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