she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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