Can Purell be used as lube?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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