How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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