I wish I could teleport
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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