you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
