Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
