I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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