I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
