Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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