Yo dont text me then not text me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The best revenge is premature balding
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
