Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
