worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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