I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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