Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
