arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
