i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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