You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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