Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How's work?
Spinning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
