My nipple is on Facebook.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We don't watch enough power rangers
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
