wakey wakey hands off snakey
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
