hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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