so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
