this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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