you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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