you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
