well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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