Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you will always have a special place in my vag
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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