1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
