2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
