I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
