Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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