Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
