By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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