I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
