Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
