come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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