She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
