Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
