Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
