Are my feet made of real feet?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
