Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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