I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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