id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
