i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
