i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
