doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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