you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
