wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
